Dad plans Christmas cruise with his mom after his sister's passing, refuses to invite his wife and kids along: 'He lied and said the cruise was sold out.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Dec 24, 2025 8:00 PM EST

It doesn't matter what's going on with him…opting out of celebrating Christmas with your two young kids is diabolical.

If you marry a mama's boy, it's going to go one of two ways. If you're lucky, you'll marry a guy who looks up to his mother and has the utmost respect for women in general. He deeply cares for his mother and will do anything within reason for her, but he won't put his love for her above all of his other responsibilities. He's not going to let his mother live in his house for years if he knows that it will be destructive for his marriage. After all, once you have a spouse and kids, you must put their needs above the needs of your parents if you want to maintain a healthy family dynamic.

If you're unlucky, you'll marry a mama's boy who puts his mother before his spouse, his kids, and even himself. Mothers who view their sons as extensions of their husbands tend to have unhealthy boundaries, asking them to do everything for them. They will manipulate their sons into waiting on them hand and foot, because they're entitled to that treatment for the mere fact of being a mother. It's not the mama boy's fault, per se, but they need to choose not to let their mother boss them around once they're an adult paying their own bills.

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  • The mama's boy in this story chose to be one. He decided to spend Christmas with his mom on a Christmas cruise. That would be all well and good if he were a bachelor, but he's got a wife and two children who wish they were spending Christmas with him.

  • White cruise ship on sea under white clouds and blue sky during daytime
    via Adam Gonzales

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy: I'm upset that my husband is on a cruise for Christmas with his mom. He didn’t invite me and our kids.

    So my (33F) husband (33M) lost his younger and only sibling unexpectedly last year a couple months before Christmas. He also lost his
    via u/Separate_Lie5159
  • dad unexpectedly and traumatically 5 years prior. The holidays have been extremely hard for him the past several years because of that.
    via u/Separate_Lie5159
  • We went through a rough patch after his dad passed and then started going through another rough patch after his sister's passing, in which he takes all his depression and angry out on me and leaves me and our kids for a few weeks.
    via u/Separate_Lie5159
  • Well during the separation this time around(in September of this year), he and his mom booked a cruise for the week of Christmas since I guess he assumed I would want the kids with me on Christmas.
    via u/Separate_Lie5159
  • We got back together after a two week separation(that I never wanted, I knew we could work it out and that is was his depression). He informed me of the cruise and said he couldn't cancel it because at that point the
    via u/Separate_Lie5159
  • cruise was less than 90 days away and they would lose the money if they did. I first said that I would find a way financially and to get me and the kids a room(his mom is paying his way) and he at first lied and said it was sold out. I looked and saw there
    via u/Separate_Lie5159
  • A sad mature man alone in darkness sitting and thinking
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • were actually rooms left, but there was no way we could afford for me and the kids. I'm trying to be understanding and kind about it because I understand his and his mom's reasoning for not wanting to stay home and celebrate Christmas. It's the
    via u/Separate_Lie5159
  • lack of consideration for me and our kids that really bothers me. AITAH? Editing to add: he and my MIL have both apologized about going, and my husband has said he wants to start planning a trip for us in the coming months. I
    via u/Separate_Lie5159
  • haven't let him know that I'm upset, I've encouraged him to go. But now that it's the week of Christmas and he's gone it is bothering me a lot.
    via u/Separate_Lie5159
  • Green Christmas tree with baubles and string lights
    via Frames For Your Heart

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • CDA_CPA He never intended to spend any part of Christmas with his children, and that alone makes him TAH. You are NAH. At some point he has to figure out how to grieve without taking it out on his wife and children. Leaving every time is not the answer.
    via u/CDA_CPA
  • iwas2dayyrsoldwhen NTA. Lying about the rooms being sold out is shady.
    via u/iwas2dayyrsoldwhen
  • Lucky-Technology-174 Sounds like you're not the most important woman in his life.
    via u/Lucky-Technology-174
  • NYCStoryteller NTA. This isn't the behavior of a man who wants to be married. Lying to you + making holiday plans with his mom without discussing it with you (or taking you OR the kids into consideration) is a AH move.
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • RaymondBeaumont he is trying to get you to divorce him.
    via u/RaymondBeaumont
  • adoxiemomma Ever heard the phrase "He's just not that into you?" That's all I kept thinking when I read this, maybe you should try looking at this from the outside. If your friend told you her partner was angry and abusive with her and her kids and booked a trip away from her and intentionally excluded her then lied when she tried to come, what advice would you give the friend?
    via u/adoxiemomma
  • mrmasterly Bro is playing his cards like a magician and you're just dancing to his tune in complete oblivion. Homie, if he wanted to be with you and his children in Christmas, he would be. Stop making excuses for him. Losing family is a reason to pull your loved ones closer, not leave your family at home on xmas while you go on a cruise with your mom loooooololol. Man, he's got you whipped. Nothing to really say right now, YTA for showing your kids what a human doormat looks like and letting the
    via u/mrmasterly
  • Ok_Rush_2800 Not only his but what about his mother's lack of consideration. I am sorry about all his loss but if he isn't careful he may loose a lot more.
    via u/Ok_Rush_2800
  • grayblue_grrl "We got back together after a two week separation (that I never wanted, I knew we could work it out" You were wrong. Should have stayed broken up. NTA
    via u/grayblue_grrl
  • Quirky_Difference800 If he's really going with his mother why did he lie about it being sold out? Why doesn't he want to be with you and his children on Christmas? This isn't a sustainable relationship honestly...he comes and goes as he pleases and you wait around for him?
    via u/Quirky_Difference800

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Tags

christmas kids invited cruise dad grief mother in law sister mom holidays
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